this is my letter.

Dear Eric, You did some terrible shit. We all know that, but I still see you as a person. A twisted, fucked up person, but still a person. You had a lot of rage, lots of frustrations. You hated the double standards at school and out in the world. I understand. I hate people too... As much as it fucking sucks, as much as almost everyone sucks, you didn’t have to do what you did on that day. I get why you wanted to, why you might have thought it was justified or necessary, but it wasn’t. I wish you never did. All of your friends say how caring and positive you were, at school and when you were just hanging out with them. Your parents probably think so too. And I bet you were. I bet you were the best to spend time with, the best to have deep talks with, the best to bowl and smoke cigarettes with. Seriously, you seemed fucking awesome. I wish I could have spent time with you. You had plans, and a job, friends, car, good grades, the whole nine yards. You were practically top of your class! But you didn’t feel like it. You felt snubbed; like people looked down on you, like they thought they were better than you. And it pissed you off, I know. You didn’t have that much longer in school. You could have graduated, gone on to better things. You could have left Columbine and never looked back, never thought about it again. I wish you did. Everyone wishes you did. If I was around when you were, we could have listened to Rammstein or KMFDM together, haha. Maybe taken a little cruise through Littleton. Or we could have gone to the range and fucked around. Maybe even gone to a little house party with your friends, or stand around in the smokers pit at the school. Who the hell knows, maybe we would have even… “gone out” if I were there. You really seemed like a good guy. I would have liked to. :P I feel like I should have been there. Besides all that, I wrote this because I wanted to express how I feel about you. You’ll never be able to read this, do any of the things you wanted to, or listen to new music from your favorite bands. But neither will the people you and Dylan killed. I wish I could go back in time and talk to you. I don’t know if it would’ve helped, but it would be worth a try if I could do it. Maybe I could have stopped this from happening, or helped you and Dylan stop this from happening. I’ll never know. No one ever will. Probably not. I just needed to spill my guts, and I thought this would be a good way to do it. Eric, I wish I could have been there for you. Raubtier